Thanks to Diane and Pat for their comments on the High-Cost Times post as they provide a great link to my upcoming posts on obstacles.
For simplicity, I am including their comments here.
Pat said: “The life curve balls I find more difficult to deal with than the changes I choose, with the result that I am much more reluctant to make the adjustments needed. I struggle to hang on to every box, to my detriment. I like the boxes visual – have to work on setting some down or getting someone to help me carry them”.
Diane said: “I can echo Pat’s comment. It’s not easy to leave boxes behind. We can think of it like a move. Sometimes a moving box isn’t opened for years. You haven’t needed the items. So it could be with a life change. Set the box aside for awhile and perhaps one will choose not to pick it up again”.
Their comments reflect our experience in finding that there are obstacles to taking the needed actions.
If we are overwhelmed trying to carry all of our boxes, what stops us from dealing with that? Why don’t we simply drop boxes if our load is too heavy? Or as Pat said, why don’t we ask for help in carrying them?
Do we want to appear as if we can carry all of the boxes because of fear? If we drop some or ask for help, are we acknowledging that this change is big? Is it easier to pretend that this is no big deal and try to carry all of the boxes, instead of acknowledging our fears?
Fear is definitely an obstacle in our change journey.
Would you feel guilty if you set boxes aside to be looked at and maybe picked up later? (If you’ve ever moved, you know what Diane is referencing)!
Guilt is a powerful obstacle when we try to redeploy our time and attention resources.
For example. perhaps you have a family member or a long-time friend who has a very negative perspective on life. Spending time with that person is draining because you get dragged into that. Dropping that relationship box to be picked up later would make sense when you are overwhelmed, but it is difficult. Sometimes we need to separate from our family or friends, but we feel guilty.
These are just a few examples to illustrate what I mean by obstacles.
If that box on the right represents what’s happening in your life, then you need to shift more than six of your current boxes to be able to carry that load.
Use the boxes visual when you think about your time and attention in a high-cost time.
What boxes are you putting down?